Previous articles by Cowboy
Get Tough
On Crime
Clinton's Kosovo Stratgey
I am eagerly anticipating this coming New Year's Eve, but not for the reasons you might expect. Believe it or not, I usually stay home on St. Pat's Day and New Year's Eve, as the streets and taverns are too full of twice-a-year, amateur drunks. I prefer the company of my fellow professionals.
No, my reason is quite different. After decades of listening to gloom and doom prophecies, in just a few days we'll be able to see if one actually comes true. According to some folks, if the world doesn't come to an end due to an act of God on December 31, 1999 (or maybe December 31, 2000, the true end of the millennium, which is based on an arbitrary calendar anyway), at least our computer-driven civilization will collapse. The so-called Y2K problem (they even got the name wrong--it should be Y2M, as K is only used to represent 1000 in units of metric measure, while M is the Roman numeral for 1000) is supposed to crash all the world's computers at midnight on December 31. From what I hear, some folks are already preparing for the end of the civilized world.
It seems someone is always predicting disaster. A few years back, we were told that the oil fires in Kuwait, following the Gulf War, would cause something like 'nuclear winter'. Guess what--it didn't happen. The eruption of Mt. Pinatubo in the Philippines at about the same time was far more serious, causing major global weather changes. After the Exxon Valdez oil spill, an army of eco-nuts descended on Alaska to contain what they perceived as a major ecological disaster. Their cleanup efforts did more harm than good. Although the spilled oil dissipated much faster than predicted, many Alaskan beaches today are completely devoid of life, even at the microscopic level, due to their cleanup methods. (I've often wondered why, if one tanker was supposed to cause so much damage, all life in the oceans wasn't destroyed by the oil from ships sunk during World War II.) Then there's 'global warming'. This is only a theory based on a computer model, but it is taken as fact, and public policy is designed accordingly. Of course, the proponents of this theory conveniently ignore the lack of scientific evidence to support it, claiming that it's better to err on the side of caution. Perhaps, during the next ice age, our descendants will curse us for not doing everything possible to warm the earth!
The best thing about this whole Y2K business is that it will happen, or not happen, at a specific time. No waiting around for years, decades, or centuries, this is going to happen (or not) in just a few days. If nothing serious occurs, it might undermine the credibility of other prophets of disaster, although I'm sure they'll claim we were saved by the billions of dollars invested in reprogramming the computers. If, on the other hand, disaster does strike, I guess I won't have to write any more columns for City2.
All in all, it should be interesting.
AN AFTERTHOUGHT:
Since I wrote this article, a thought occurred to me. Maybe I've omitted to worst possible side effect of the anticipated breakdown of society.
With (supposedly) both water and electricity cut off, we may be subjected to millions of coffee addicts undergoing caffeine withdrawals in the streets. No latte, cappucino, or espresso. They need a fix, can't function without it. They turn to lives of crime, stealing No-Doz as they graduate to the hard stuff. Soon, no place in America will be safe from these drug addicts. New laws will be needed to protect us from them. Maybe we could repeal a Constitutional Amendment or two, just to be sure.
Oops! Am I getting paranoid? Such things could never happen in the good ol' USA. Could they?
Cowboy
Columnist & Contributing Editor
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