COWBOY'S CORNER

Once upon a not-so-distant time, in a town not far from here, lived a man known as P.J. Although he neither smoked nor drank, he was a saloon-keeper. In those days, the saloon was the social center of the neighborhood. P.J. was a popular fellow, always willing to loan a customer a buck or two, or some coal for the fire during a hard winter. This popularity led him into politics, where his gererosity was rewarded with a virtual license to steal the tax-paying citizens blind.

P.J. had high aspirations for his son, Joe. Although Joe was a poor student, with a D+ average in high school, P.J.'s political clout got him into Harvard, where he kept his grades up by bribing his professors with 15 year old Scotch. After Joe's graduation, his father got him a job as a state bank examiner. Joe put the confidential information he found in bank records to good use playing the stock market. Unfortunately for Joe, about this time World War I came along, and it looked like he'd be drafted. Ever resourceful, he got a high-paying, do-nothing job at a shipyard, which exempted him from service. As soon as the war (and the draft) ended, he quit the shipyard, and went back to insider trading. He made a bundle selling stocks short just before the 1929 market crash (which rumor has it he deliberately helped cause.) But bigger and better things awaited him.

With the coming of Prohibition, Joe saw the opportunity to make serious money quickly. He turned to smuggling and bootlegging, where he was associated with other sterling citizens such as Longy Zwillman (the New Jersey gangster who controlled 40% of the illegal booze in the country), Frank Costello, Joe Bonanno, and Al Capone. These associations would come back in future years to both help and haunt him. By the mid-20's, Joe was a multimillionaire.

When Prohibition was repealed, Joe needed new outlets for his talents. He sold his liquor interests to Longy Zwillman, and went to Hollywood, where he increased his fortune at the expense of the stockholders in the movie studios he ruined. He even found time to take his mistress for everything she owned. Joe had a plan. The saloon-keeper's son was going to buy respectability, despite being, as Sam Giancana would later term him, "one of the biggest crooks that ever lived."

Years passed, and Joe's plan was working. Joe had been appointed an Ambassador as a reward for his (and his former business associates') help getting FDR elected. His son Jack was running for President. Joe pulled out all the stops, and, with the assistance of the Chicago outfit, stole the 1960 election for his son.

Jack's term as President was far from great. He got us heavily involved in Viet Nam, and sold out the anti-Castro forces attempting to free Cuba. He expanded the government and its involvement in citizens' everyday lives more than any President since FDR. His administration will be remembered, however, for two main reasons. In October 1962, for domestic political purposes as much as national security concerns, he pushed the world to the brink of nuclear war, which was avoided thanks to Nikita Khrushchev's cooler head. The other memorable event was Jack's assassination in 1963. Not exactly the great Presidency some would like us to believe.

Recently, Jack's son, John Jr., died in a plane crash. Millions of tax dollars and thousands of man-hours were spent in the search for his wrecked plane. For a week, the mass media focused on this one story. What was John Jr.'s major accomplishment in life? He spent a lot of money from his trust fund!

Does this little fairy tale sound vaguely familiar? It should, because it's the true story of the Kennedys. Our modern cult of celebrity has turned these generations of corrupt pirates and politicians into heroes. That's a pretty sad commentary on contemporary American society.

Cowboy
Columnist & Contributing Editor
City2 e-news

Addendum: In the last few months, I have read of the deaths of several recipients of the Congressional Medal of Honor. These heroes, who risked their lives in defence of this country, received scant recognition on the obituary pages of the newspapers, and absolutely no mention on the evening newscasts.

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